31 October 2006

4:00am

It's 4 am. I tried sleeping. I really did. For an hour or so I laid there. Then I gave reading a shot and skimmed through 75 pages of a book. Then I thought maybe a little snack, a quick trip to the bathroom and my eye-blinder would do the trick. But I laid in bed for at least another hour. Wide awake.

So then I just got plain frustrated and got up. Now I've been on the internet for 1 hour and 44 minutes. Not doing anything particular... just wasting time reading stuff and battling with one pesky mosquito. I've had numerous chances to smash it, but I fear the noise of my hands slapping together would wake Mike, and he'd be really delirious and confused about why I wasn't in bed. It might be mildly entertaining for me to see him get up and look for me, but I rather he keep sleeping... he needs it.

I'm meant to wake up at 6:50 so we can be on the bus to language school at 7:30. Not gonna happen. Think I'll fall asleep in the next hour or so? Then when the alarm goes off, I'll tell Mikey that I'm not going anywhere and guiltily roll over and snuggle my head back into the pillow for another couple hours. Don't I deserve it?... it's been a rough night.

The problem is my mind. It won't stop racing. Too much to think about. So much happening (and not so much happening all at the same time) How's a girl to slow down her mind when there is so much buzzing around inside of it? Drives me nuts.

Question: Am I an insomniac because I have sporadic sleepless nights?...

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