22 February 2011

Typical

Today the kids and I went to the mall.

Don't picture mall like you normally think mall.

I mean, kinda picture what you know of a mall, but shrink it like 5 or 50 times. And then transplant it to North Africa. Then put a metal-detector at the front that beeps every time anyone walks through. Then place a security official there next to the always-beeping metal detector who acts like he never hears the beeping. What beeping? And picture escalators. But picture them broken (for years). Then multiply the prices by 2 or 20.

There. That's about right.

And picture me there, with my two kids, chillin' in a decent coffee shop in the center of the mall. Kids are climbing all over the 'leather' couches while I attempt to shove chicken and tomatoes from the inside of my sandwich into their mouths. Then I kick a dead cockroach under the table. Then I dip a fry in ketchup. Then I speak very sternly to my boy... "Do NOT touch that floor. We put our feet on this floor and nothing else. Do you understand?!" And then I take a sip of Pepsi. And then I notice a man a couple of tables over.

He's a big man, we would say. Not cause he's physically big (although he is) but because you call an important looking African man a 'Big man'. I dunno know why. Just go with me okay?

He has a big fancy coffee sitting in front of him. It seems fitting of his big-manness.

His phone rings.

"Allo? (Hello?) Yes. Yes. I am coming. I am coming now."

Then he sets the phone down and continues to leisurely sip his cappuccino or whatever.

Huh. Funny. He doesn't look to be going anywhere to me.

So funny.

So typical.

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