16 January 2013

Letting Go and Taking Up

I changed my blog title. “Thriving in the Desert” was true a month ago, but has no relevance to my life right now. I suppose you could say we’re ‘in the desert’ in some ways in life right now. We’re unclear about a lot of things… the main one that occupies my thoughts day and night is where we will live. I’d like to say answers and moving will come any day now, but that’s not true. God has asked us to continue to wait for answers. And so as this belly grows and this sweet babe’s due date draws closer, we wait. Each day feels like a month to me, but I take a deep breath and I wait. With lots of tears and questions and God’s help, I wait. We want His best, and so we wait. His grace is with me, I know.

But EVEN if you call our current situation ‘a desert’, the verb thriving would obviously be a lie. I am not thriving; I am struggling. I think it’s to be expected and I’ll be fine and please don’t worry about me. And in the big picture all of this isn’t a big deal. All of our needs are met and we are healthy and we are surrounded by wonderful people and someday soon this will all be in the past and I will be settled in my own place with my three babies and we’ll laugh at our crazy circumstances that came about at the beginning of the year and praise God that we made it through, just like we always do. I am certain of it.

It’s just in the midst of our lives being turned upside down in the matter of a couple weeks,combined with the fact that I am a planner and nester…it’s just a bit hard right now. That’s all.

Anyway, when some friends were praying for us the other day, one said something along the lines of “Give them grace as they let go of their life in Africa and take up new life here at the same time… how does one even do that? With a baby on the way!?”

I totally resonated with that prayer. How do we let go and take up at the same time? We have no idea. And maybe we’re doing a terrible job so far. We still feel pretty numb about the whole thing. How long will that go on? I don’t know.

So this is my new journey. From the Sahara Desert to the Rocky Mountains. Letting go and taking up. Jesus, help us.

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