18 October 2015

The Waiting Game

I am truly perplexed as to why the term ‘game’ is used at the end of this phrase. Since when does waiting EVER feel like a game? Waiting in line at the store. Waiting for visa paperwork to come through. Waiting for your toddler to eat her breakfast (Lord help us all). Waiting for the light to turn green.

Nope. Not what I would call games, really.

I’m waiting for a baby to make an exit from my body. Don’t think about the details of that too much. It’s amazingly miraculous and slightly strange at the same time.

The majority of women around the world have spent time waiting for this occasion for themselves multiple times. I wonder if any of them would say it’s like a game?

I’m more than ready. I’ve had all my ducks in a row for three weeks now, since I was deemed 37 weeks and full term. “Could be any day now” everyone says. And it could be. Or not.

Due date is officially tomorrow. But everyone knows babies never come on their due dates. My babies have been 2 days late, 4 days late and then 2 days early. So there is really no telling. I just really hope we don’t go for a record with 6 days late this time around.

But it’s hard to wait. That’s what I’m saying. At literally ANY point during ANY day I could go into labor. Then I’ll find myself riding a train towards the hardest work and worst pain (I wish it weren’t true, but it probably is) of my life. Can’t get off that train. Train is coming anytime. I’ll need lots of mental readiness and physical endurance and energy for that train ride.

BUT I DON’T KNOW WHEN THE TRAIN IS COMING.

For one who loves planning and preparing, this waiting is no game. This is hard stuff.

On the flip side…

When the train ride ends (and it ends very abruptly), I’ll have in my arms a tiny human being who’ll grow up and call me Mommy. Fourth time around I know the swelling of heart and love that is waiting for me at the end of the train track. That’s some kind of motivation!  I’ll also have the ‘If I can do that… I can do ANYTHING’ superwoman feeling that (hopefully) comes after delivery.

I also know through and through that pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood are huge privileges. My heart breaks often for those who long to experience these things and aren’t able. I struggle often to understand why God allows this to happen to some women. And so I do not take it for granted for myself.

Those are the things I’m trying to focus on. And I’m praying a lot. And I’m trying to keep my space uncluttered and ready. And I’m hoping my two year old truly understands that her baby brother will not be her live baby doll. And I’m praying some more and anticipating my baby boy in my arms.

Could be any day now.

;)

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